Vern Stachowiak

Vern (Harry) Stachowiak, of South Lyon, Michigan, passed away peacefully on October 24, 2026, surrounded by the warmth and love of his family. He was 90 years old.

Vern loved everyone around him and his favorite saying was “through thick and thin.” He knew how to make the ordinary days feel extraordinary, and to him there truly was “no place like home.” He led by example in all aspects of life, and showed others how to love through his actions more than his words. Never one to lecture, he effortlessly instilled his warmth, kindness, and sense of humor in his children and grandchildren.

Vern was born in Detroit, Michigan on May 14, 1936, to parents Michael and Joanna Stachowiak. He was a military veteran who loved and served his country for 12 years in the Army Reserves, where his fellow servicemen fell in love with his cooking.

Vern was an accomplished bowler, and while his perfect 300 game was certainly impressive, his proudest achievement from his days on the lanes was meeting his beloved wife, Freda Stachowiak, who survives him. The two shared a joyful 64 years together, raising two children Alan (Diane) Stachowiak, and Lisa McDowell, and two grandchildren, Connery McDowell and Allia (Albert) Asta. He is also survived by his sister, Diane (Robert) Chauvin and many nieces, nephews and great nephews.

Vern will be remembered for his humility, wit, and ability to find the bright side of life. He always stressed the importance of gratitude, and it was his relentless positivity that helped him battle all the challenges he faced. In March, 2002, he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, but that didn’t stop him from dancing around the garage with his granddaughter to a Johnny Cash record. He beat the odds and survived his diagnosis for just short of 25 years. This allowed him and Freda to continue to win the “longest married” accolade at every wedding dance challenge, and to proudly walk his granddaughter down the aisle last November. He truly was a miracle man.

Winning the battle against cancer inspired his love for life and tenacity to take on challenges. He was never a runner, but he became inspired to run the Detroit Free Press Marathon relay with his family, and then the Disney half-marathon… and ultimately he went for the Mickey medal, running a full marathon just 2 years after his diagnosis. He learned to love the superfoods his daughter would bring him, like broccoli and berries, and did everything he could to prevent a recurrence. Despite his journey, he never wanted to be the center of attention, but he found himself being asked to share his story in the documentary film Feeding Tomorrow.

Vern loved his family, and always maintained a ‘lead by example’ approach to fatherhood. He was meticulous in all he did, from folding laundry perfectly, to his craftsmanship in woodworking, painting and being an all around handyman. He even built a cherished garden for his daughter. He taught his children to “take pride in their work – do it the right way, and not the easy way, no matter the difficulty of the task. One step at a time.” He was even-tempered, unbelievably patient, and he always explained the methodology behind the reasoning.

Spending time with his family and friends was Vern’s favorite activity, and it didn’t matter the occasion. Whether he was making morning coffee, coaching his son’s baseball team, schooling his daughter with his wicked ping pong serve, sneaking the kids into a drive-in movie, or hosting neighborhood water fights and barbeques, he enjoyed the camaraderie of being around the people he loved… and of course there was always his favorite polka music in the background. He even taught his grandson how to walk by polka dancing around the pool table.

Vern loved cars and casinos… and he was even lucky enough to win a Mustang in Las Vegas once. He proudly worked for Ford Motor Company for 36 years before he retired to help care for his grandchildren (who much preferred spending time with him over going to daycare). He would take Connery to watch the airplanes take off, and find life-sized versions of the digger truck toys he loved so much. He taught Allia how to build puzzles, and he marveled at how such a little girl could have so much to say every single day. He showed his love for them in more ways than can be imagined, from sharing life lessons, to separating out all the marshmallows in a bag of Lucky Charms because he knew that was their favorite part (he ate the plain cereal for weeks). Years of driving his grandkids to and from school and all their activities mean endless treasured memories that Allia and Connery will carry forward in their hearts forever.

A funeral Mass will be held on Thursday November 5th at St. Linus Catholic Church (6466 N. Evangeline, Dearborn Heights) with visitation at 10 AM and Mass beginning at 11 AM, immediately followed by luncheon at one of Vern’s favorite restaurants.

Vern inspired the idea of the Farm at Trinity Health and was a living example of how food is medicine. In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be made to The Farm at Trinity Health. Or, to help celebrate Vern’s adoration for dogs, contributions may be made to the Michigan Humane Society.

Vern and his beautiful smile, positive attitude, and sparkling blue eyes will be deeply missed by Freda, his family, and many treasured friends whose lives were changed for the better simply by knowing him.